Tonight’s version anyway.

1:: “Right , Alfie.  Are we ready?!  Yes?  Ok.”

2 :: …I’d only managed to get it over his toes, well kind of, when “Aah! Mam!  My toes!  They’ve squished and clicked!  Why would you do that?!”

3 :: …I’ve not even got the sock over the heel of his foot, when “Straighten your leg, Alf!  Straighten it!  More!  Try, Alf!” After some laughs, we’re done.

4 :: Get my breath back and sort myself out…and straighten my bra.

5 :: Realise that we forgot to put his shin pads on first…